Feeld App: What It Is and How Couples Use It
Feeld is a dating app for open-minded people, and a place where couples and singles curious about non-monogamy can start. It began in 2014 under the name 3nder and was later renamed Feeld, and couples can link their profiles so people can see who they are matching with. This guide explains what the Feeld app is and, more usefully, how couples can use it well, from the conversation you have before you download it to the first coffee with someone new.
What is Feeld, in plain terms?
At heart, Feeld is a dating app made for people who do not fit the one-person-forever script, or who want to explore beyond it. You will find couples, singles, people who are new and curious, and people who have lived openly for years.
The part that matters most for couples is profile linking. Instead of one shared account where nobody knows who is typing, each partner can have a profile and the two are connected. Anyone who looks can see that you are a couple and meet you both.
That is as much as we will say about the app itself. Apps change their screens and settings all the time, and how you use one matters much more than any feature list.
Feeld for couples: talk before you download
Most problems couples have on any dating app start before the first swipe. A short, honest conversation saves a lot of hurt.
- What are you hoping for? A night of flirting, a new friend, someone to date together, separate dating, or just seeing what is out there.
- Together or separately? Some couples only meet people as a pair. Others each date on their own with full knowledge. Both are valid, but you need to agree.
- What is off the table, for now? Our page on open relationship rules has a gentle way to set limits that can change later.
- How will you check in? After each chat that gets serious and after every meeting, before saying yes to anything more.
If you are opening up for the first time, our guide on how to open a relationship covers the bigger conversation that comes before any app.
How to set up linked profiles well
Both of you take part. A linked profile where one partner does all the talking is a common complaint. Read messages together, or agree that both of you will reply to anyone you are both interested in.
Write as yourselves. Say how long you have been together, what you enjoy as a couple and as individuals, and what you are curious about. Be specific. "We love long dinners, bad karaoke and talking until two in the morning" beats "fun couple, easy-going".
Say what kind of connection you want. If you are new, say so. Plenty of people prefer to meet couples who are honest about being beginners.
Choose photos you are both happy with. Show each of you clearly if you are comfortable, or use pictures that hint at your style without your faces if discretion matters. Check backgrounds for street names, workplaces and family photos.
Agree on a pace. Something like "We like to chat a little, then meet for a drink" sets expectations in one line.
Is Feeld right for you? An honest review of the fit
We will not score the app, because every feature list goes out of date. What we can tell you is who tends to enjoy using a dating app like this, and who tends to struggle.
It suits couples who already talk easily about desire, who are happy to go slowly, and who see a match as the start of a conversation rather than a promise. It suits singles who like meeting couples and want everyone to be upfront from the start.
It is harder for couples where one partner is talked into it, for anyone hoping an app will fix a problem in their relationship, and for people who hate small talk with strangers. If your marriage has gone quiet, our guide to the sexless marriage is a better first stop than any app.
Be honest with yourselves about which group you are in before you start.
Being fair to singles
Many couples on dating apps hope to meet a single person, often a bisexual woman. There is nothing wrong with that hope. Problems start when the single person is treated as a role to fill rather than a person with feelings of their own.
A few habits make a real difference:
- Lead with curiosity, not rules. Ask about them before you explain your limits.
- Let the connection be uneven. One of you may click with them more. That is normal, and a single person will notice if they are expected to like you both exactly the same.
- Don't send a script. Long lists of what they may and may not do, before you have even met, read as a job advert.
- Respect their time. Answer messages, turn up, and if it is not a match, say so kindly.
Our pages on unicorn polyamory and bicurious are worth reading if this is where you are.
A first message that works
"Hi, we're Sara and Jonas. We loved that you mentioned climbing and old films, we do both badly. We're fairly new to this and like to start with a drink and good conversation. Would you be up for that sometime?"
Short, specific, both names, no pressure. If there is no reply, move on without a follow-up chain.
Safety, privacy and the first meeting
Treat every new person as a stranger until you have met them in public.
- Keep personal details back until you trust someone: surnames, workplaces, your street.
- Do a quick video call before meeting. It confirms people are who they say, and it shows you whether talking is easy.
- Meet somewhere public and easy to leave.
- Arrive and leave independently, and keep drinks light.
- Agree a signal between you two that means "let's call it a night".
Red flags to notice: pressure to skip the video call, stories that keep changing, early demands for explicit photos, anyone mentioning money, and a partner in another couple who seems reluctant. If one of you feels uneasy, that is reason enough to leave.
When it gets complicated
Using a dating app as a couple brings up feelings, even when everything goes well.
One of you gets more attention. It happens all the time: one partner gets far more messages than the other. Talk about it openly; it says nothing about your worth.
Jealousy shows up. That is normal, and it is information, not a stop sign. Our guide to jealousy in open relationships has practical ways to talk it through.
You want different things. If one of you is far more excited than the other, slow down to the pace of the more cautious partner.
We meet a lot of couples who started on an app, and the ones who stayed happy say the same thing: they spent more time talking to each other than to anyone on the screen.
Take Sara and Jonas again, an illustrative couple. Their first match fizzled after a few messages. Their second became a regular Friday drinks friend. It was months before either of them wanted more, and by then everyone trusted each other.
Apps are one way in
The Feeld app is one door, and a fine one for many people. Other couples prefer meeting through friends or small social evenings where someone already knows the people in the room. Our guides to how couples meet other couples, swinger apps and polyamorous dating apps cover how to use any of these well.
Meet in person
Profiles can only tell you so much. Warmth, humour and kindness are easier to judge across a table than a screen. If you would like to meet open-minded couples and single women who already live this way, you can join Rope & Candy. It is free and takes one email, and when someone from our team is in your city, we meet you for a coffee or a dinner. Nothing is expected after.
Questions people ask
What is Feeld?
Feeld is a dating app for open-minded people. It started in 2014 under the name 3nder and was later renamed Feeld. Couples can link their profiles, which makes it an easy place for couples and curious singles to see each other clearly.
How do couples use Feeld?
Each partner makes a profile and the two profiles are linked, so people can see you are a couple. The couples who do best write honestly about what they want, both take part in conversations, and meet new people in public first.
How do I create a Feeld account?
Download the app on your phone and follow the steps to make a profile. Before you start, decide what name and photos you are comfortable showing, and if you are a couple, agree on how you will present yourselves together.
Is Feeld good for couples looking for a third?
It can be a place to meet people, but a third person is a whole human, not a role. Couples who approach singles with patience, honesty and no fixed script tend to have far better conversations than couples with a list of rules.